Divorce -- Three Divine Revelations

While many sweethearts are finding romantic ways to show their love for one another on Valentine’s Day, not all couples are doing so at this time of year. A NY Post article pointed out that the number of requests for divorce lawyers spikes dramatically around Valentine’s Day compared to the previous six months. On average, the increase is around 40 percent, according to Mark Britton, founder and CEO of Avvo, a site that offers ratings and profiles for lawyers and medical doctors. This has become a new trend in the past few years.

In fact, even in the church it has become common for people to get divorced, which is so sad. This of course raises the questions about remarriage afterward, so we really need to know what the mind of God is on this matter. For that we turn to the Word of God, because the Scriptures are our source of truth, wisdom and guidance on divorce. One passage of Scripture that addresses divorce is found in Mark’s gospel.

Some Pharisees came up to Jesus, testing Him, and began to question Him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife. And He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?" They said, "Moses permitted a man TO WRITE A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY." But Jesus said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. "But from the beginning of creation, God MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE. "FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. "What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." In the house the disciples began questioning Him about this again. And He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery." (Mar 10:2-12)

Let’s look at this passage verse-by-verse.

Is it lawful to divorce your wife?
The Pharisees wanted to know if it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife. Jesus answered with a question. He asked them what Moses commanded, and they replied with a quote from Moses. So they felt that they had established a legal right for this practice.

Hardness of heart
Jesus explained that the only reason Moses wrote this was due to the hardness of men’s hearts. It was not the original plan of God. So when a man or woman files for divorce, it reflects unwillingness on the part of one or both parties to reconcile or resolve the conflicts. Jesus referred to this as hardness of heart.

Incidentally, hardness of heart is not compatible with new life in Christ. Rather it is associated with rebellion (Heb 3:7,8,15). We are to be tender hearted, forgiving, and resolve all conflicts with one another (Lk 17:3-4; Mt 6:14-15; 18:15-17; Eph 5:32). Therefore, no disciple of Christ should claim his own hardness of heart as an excuse to divorce.

God’s original intention
Jesus went on to explain that what Moses wrote was not a command but rather permission he granted, if they remained hard hearted. Yet God’s original intention for man was that he would leave his parents and become one flesh with his wife. Paul’s statement to the Corinthians makes clear the meaning of "one flesh." He wrote:

"Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, 'THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.' " (1Co 6:15-16).

My friend, Jim Garrett, made an excellent point about this when he commented, "Here Paul states that when one has sex, he becomes one flesh with the one with whom he has sex. Thus, a man who is a fornicator is one flesh with a lot of women – what a mess. In such a situation, a man becomes one flesh with a woman and there is no covenant (at least objective intentional covenant) involved."

This reminds me of a medieval practice in England, known as Drawing and Quartering, which was used as a punishment for treason. The person's four limbs were tied to four horses. Then as the horses moved away from the person, the poor soul was torn apart. That's what it's like when you join yourself to multiple sexual partners and there is no covenant to keep you together. The Lord intended to protect us from such a situation with His plan for one man and one woman to become one flesh together, and remain together for life.

Let no man separate
Once you begin to get this picture of what really happens to the people involved when a one flesh relationship is torn apart, you can better understand the heart of God regarding separation. You can look at the Greek all you want and try to get around it, but the Word of God from the mouth of Jesus was “Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate.” In this sentence, He affirmed that it’s God Who joined the married couple together, and He further affirms that no man should separate them. That’s pretty cut and dry, plain and simple. It’s not complicated at all, unless you try to make it that way. His main point was that it’s not God’s will for married couples to separate, in spite of the fact that the Law of Moses permitted it.

The apostle Paul later reiterated this when he wrote to the Corinthians, “But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.” (1Co 7:10-11). Again, this is very plain. The wife should not leave her husband and the husband should not divorce his wife.

Marriage after divorce
The disciples further questioned Jesus about this later in the house. His reply was, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.” In another passage, Jesus taught that if you divorce your spouse and they remarry, you are causing them to commit adultery. He said, “but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Mat 5:32). Notice he said that the one who initiates the divorce makes the other person commit adultery. At the most basic level, it’s clear that there is a problem – a sin committed – when a person divorces his or her spouse and marries someone else. The reason a sin is committed is that man separates what God has put together, and then man joins together with another spouse.

To put it differently, God does not want man separating the married couple, since He has joined them together as one. And when man does this and then marries another, God sees it as adultery. How could it be adultery, if they have a legal certificate of divorce, which proves they are no longer married? It’s adultery because God still sees the original couple as one flesh. How else could it be adultery? Adultery can only occur when a married person enters into a sexual relationship with someone who is not his or her spouse.

There are basically three parties who end up committing adultery following a divorce: the person who initiated the divorce proceeding, the spouse who was subject to the divorce, and the person who marries the one who was divorced. So if God considers remarriage after divorce to be adultery, then it’s not desirable to do it. It should be avoided!

The apostle Paul reiterated this when he wrote to the Corinthians, “A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband." Paul’s teaching agrees with Jesus by instructing us not to get remarried after divorce, but rather be reconciled with our spouse.

There was one instance where Jesus acknowledged the legitimacy of divorce and that is where there has been unfaithfulness, otherwise known as unchastity or sexual sin (Greek, porneia). Many people have analyzed this and tried to determine what constitutes unfaithfulness. Obviously if one spouse commits sexual sin during the marriage, such as adultery, then that is unfaithfulness, which is grounds for a divorce. It does not mean that God requires the couple to divorce, because if there is repentance on the part of the offending spouse, then this can be forgiven and they can be healed and go on together. That is, provided the offender does not continue in this sin of adultery afterward. So when there is unchastity, God allows the two to become divorced.

One situation that Jesus did not address explicitly is desertion. When one spouse deserts the other, he or she suddenly separates from the other, and this can sometimes happen without any prior notice or explanation. The sudden and unexpected disappearance of a spouse can be devastating to the one who remains, especially when the remaining spouse was faithful. And in some cases, the one who departs moves far away to another geographical location. What is the remaining spouse to do in such a situation? Obviously, the first step is to pray and seek reconciliation with the offended party. But what if the offended party refuses all attempts at reconciliation? These are the types of things that are not explicitly addressed, but we know that the Lord commands us to forgive and to love. He teaches us how to resolve conflict. So as we read the Word and pray through such situations, the Lord will give direction.

The apostle Paul describes one such scenario where one spouse is a nonbeliever. He says, “But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.” (1 Cor 7:15). In this case, if the nonbeliever leaves, the believing person is no longer bound to stay married to the nonbeliever. He or she is free.

There are all kinds of scenarios in life that can happen, and it’s not my intention to analyze each one. It’s best for you to search the Scriptures prayerfully yourself, reading the passages where Jesus and Paul taught on divorce, and ask the Holy Spirit to speak to you clearly through the Word. You have got to hear from the Lord on this matter. Afterward, you may sit with a mature believer who is impartial, such as a Bible-believing pastor or elder, and work through your situation with his counsel.

Forgiveness
I want to stress one very important thing. While divorce leads to adultery, which is a sin, it is not the unforgivable sin. If you have done everything to seek reconciliation with your spouse, and in the end, you find yourself divorced without intending to be, there is still hope. If you can still reconcile with your former spouse, you should do so. You should seek reconciliation very diligently! It may require a long process to work through issues with the help of a third party. It will require great mercy, forgiveness, love and patience from both spouses.

A great movie that portrays this is Fireproof. In this movie, the wife has decided to divorce her husband. But he decides to love her unconditionally through it all. He asks her to forgive him for the ways he has offended her. Then patiently waits for her heart to heal and turn back. She eventually does turn back, forgiving him and being reconciled to him once again.

But there comes a point where that might not be possible, due to the hardness of the other person’s heart. In this case, you should just forgive, seek the Lord for help, and cast yourself upon His mercy. Seek His forgiveness for any part you played in the divorce. And then receive it.

In some cases, people were divorced before they became a believer in Jesus Christ, and they cannot go back and change that situation. Sometimes their former spouse is already remarried. This is also portrayed in the movie Fireproof, in which a Christian man had been divorced before he came to know Christ. He is happily remarried, but he has remorse over the fact that he helped bring about a divorce between himself and his former wife before he knew the Lord. Once he came to know Christ, he wanted to reconcile with his wife, but it was too late. She had already remarried. This is another example of a situation that happens.

I would challenge anyone in such a situation to search the Scriptures and find the verse that allows them to be remarried, because God will hold you accountable for it. I cannot think of any verse that would directly allow for remarriage in such a situation, as long as the person's former spouse remains alive (Ro 7:2-3). So let's open a discussion about this in the comments section. You will have to give an account for every action before the judgment seat of Christ (Rom. 14:10; 2Co. 5:10). I suppose some possible Scriptures a person might possibly rely on in such a situation to indirectly give them hope would be those about God's mercy and grace. But they must still reckon with Rom 7:2-3. I will cover this in more detail in the next two sections of this article below, as well as the section on divine revelations.

If you have been divorced and are unable to reconcile with your spouse after all your attempts to do so have failed, the worse thing you can do is go out and try to fill the emptiness by finding a new mate. You need to get healed first. It could take a year, two years or more. You should allow the Lord to do a work inside of you, before you consider ever getting married again. The reason is that your own dysfunctional behavior may have contributed to the divorce. Allow the Lord to search your heart and show you how you may have helped bring about the demise of your own marriage. It’s so important that you identify where you need healing and get it from the Lord before you consider a new relationship.

If you seek the Lord first and seek to be healed, He will fill your being with his love, His joy, and His peace. Find other ways to occupy yourself for the Lord through worship, Bible study, and service in the kingdom. And do this with the attitude that if you must stay single for the rest of your life, then you will do so. If you feel an overwhelming need to be remarried, then cry out to the Lord with that need. Every time it seems to overwhelm you, get on your knees and bring it to the Lord, even with tears if you need to. He will hear and answer.

Restoration and remarriage
I would like to address the matter of restoration and remarriage, but only for those who are in very specific and limited scenarios where that is allowed by God in Scripture. Paul says to those who are unmarried, “Do not look for a wife.” (1 Cor 7:27). That means exactly what it says. Don't look for a wife. And for women, don't look for a husband. You need to lay that on the altar unless the Lord decides to give you another spouse.

In my humble opinion, if the Lord eventually shows you that it’s His will to grant you a second chance in His great mercy, then accept it. But seek godly counsel throughout the whole matter. Don’t enter into any new relationship according to the flesh. You don’t want to make another mistake! The person must belong to the Lord or else you will be unequally yoked together (2 Co 6:14).

Bathe it in prayer, and keep the relationship holy and chaste. Ask God to confirm everything to you and take it slowly. Make sure you know this is God’s will for your life. If you have both received confirmation from Him that He is putting you together in marriage, and other mature disciples agree, who are in a position of oversight and care in your life, then go forward with the Lord’s blessing. You can know that when God forgives, it is complete.

When the Lord chooses to give you a second chance, receive it with gratitude. But be careful not to take it lightly or abuse his grace and mercy.

Remarrying Your First Spouse
The ideal situation is to be reconciled with your first spouse and get remarried to that person. Simply repenting for committing the sin of divorce and not going back to your spouse is not enough. You must make restitution!

However, if your first spouse has already been remarried, I do not see any Scripture that allows you to remarry that person. Even if their second spouse divorces them or dies, the Bible teaches that it is an abomination for your to remarry your first spouse once they have been married to someone else.

"When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house, and she leaves his house and goes and becomes another man's wife, and if the latter husband turns against her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife, then her former husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the LORD your God gives you as an inheritance.” (Deu 24:1-4).

Likewise, the Lord declared through the prophet Jeremiah, "If a husband divorces his wife And she goes from him And belongs to another man, Will he still return to her? Will not that land be completely polluted?" (Jer 3:1)

Therefore, the only scenario in which Scripture allows you to remarry your first spouse, in my opinion, is when neither of you have been remarried after divorcing. In fact, if you have been divorced and neither you nor your spouse have been remarried, you should certainly repent and remarry your spouse if he or she is willing to do so. However, there is no biblical basis for remarriage to one's first spouse after divorce and remarriage has already occurred. Doing so would violate the Word of God, and teaching people to do so would nullify one of God's commandments.

Our Lord said, "Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish but to fulfill. For truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass from the Law until all is accomplished. Whoever then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever keeps and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I say to you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven." (Mat 5:17-20)

Inevitably there will be someone who will say that my position is invalid, because it is based on Old Testament passage of Scripture, even though the Lord said He did not come to abolish the Law or the Prophets. However, to those who may do so, I kindly refer you to my articles, The Ways of Life, The Law of Christ and Law of Love in the New Testament. 

Other Scriptures About Divorce
Here are some additional Scriptures about divorce to prayerfully consider.

"For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously." (Mal 2:16)

"It was said, 'Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce'; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Mat 5:31-32)

Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?" And He answered and said, "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." They *said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?" He *said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery." (Mat 19:3-9)

"For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband. So then, if while her husband is living she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress though she is joined to another man." (Rom 7:2-3)

"Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals..." (1Co 6:9)

"Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge." (Heb 13:4)

"But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her." (1Co 7:12)

Thus says the LORD, "Where is the certificate of divorce By which I have sent your mother away? Or to whom of My creditors did I sell you? Behold, you were sold for your iniquities, And for your transgressions your mother was sent away. (Isa 50:1)

"And I saw that for all the adulteries of faithless Israel, I had sent her away and given her a writ of divorce, yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear; but she went and was a harlot also. (Jer 3:8)

Also see Deu 22:13-29.

Divine Revelations
I would now like to share some divine revelations on the topic of divorce for you to read and evaluate prayerfully.

Michael Thomas Sambo
As I have written in my article Michael Thomas Sambo's Revelation of Heaven and Hell, my friend Michael Sambo received a revelation in 2003 from the Lord. He died and experienced heaven and hell. He told me, "In my encounter with Jesus. A man came to the gate of heaven having married and divorced his wife. But was later permitted by his church to remarry. The angel of the Lord told him in heaven he is known as an adulterer." This is a serious warning, since no adulterers inherit the kingdom of God (1 Cor 6:9), so let us take heed.

Samuel Oghenetega (Ogenetega)
Near the end of June 2013, a fourteen-year-old boy in Nigeria, named Samuel “Tega” had a visitation from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Holy and Righteous One, as I documented in my article, Visitation of Jesus to Samuel Oghenetega. The Lord gave him a revelation with many warnings, one of which was a warning to those who divorce: "People who divorce do not enter my kingdom." (Listen to his video on You Tube for more details).

Emmanuel Samson Jude
A Nigerian teenager named Emmanuel Samson Jude, claims to have had a revelation of hell in August 2014. He states:

I saw a man in hell fire, being in great agony and pain, in great torment, he stretched forth his hand if he could be delivered, but a demon was climbing on his back, cutting his head with an axe. I asked the man the reason why he ended his life there, he told me "I divorced my wife, I chased her out because I didn't have interest in her anymore. I got married to another woman. That is what brought me here. I blame myself. I am very sorry" (1 Cor 7:10-11).

Putting it all Together
The Scripture is clear that it was never God’s intention for married couples to become divorced. From the beginning, God intended the husband and wife to be one and never separate. So those who are married should not divorce. While it may break the legal union in the civil sense, the couple is still one in God’s eyes. That’s why divorce leads to adultery if the divorced person gets remarried. Those who are committing divorce need to know that it’s an abomination in the sight of God. Jesus hates divorce!

We know that Moses permitted divorce due to the hardness of man’s heart. So there are cases where divorce may be necessary. But if you leave your spouse, you must remain unmarried.

The Lord takes unfaithfulness (unchastity) very seriously. When one spouse is unfaithful and unwilling to reconcile, then the Lord allows for divorce. And when a nonbeliever chooses to leave a believer, then the believer is no longer bound to that person. The believer is free.

But those who are unmarried should not seek a spouse. They should call upon the Lord in their distress and allow Him to meet the need. A great deal of healing is needed after divorce, and this must happen before entering into any new relationship.

I solemnly caution you with reservations, if you have a second chance to marry, because yours is one of the scenarios that God allows and says you are free, and the Lord confirms that He has brought you together with a believing spouse, then treat it like your last chance. And when you get married again, make a commitment before the Lord to be together for the rest of your lives.

If you have never given your life to Jesus as your Lord and Savior, then you are missing the most important key to a loving marriage. Without Him in the center of your life and your marriage, you cannot experience marriage to the fullest like God intended for you.

DISCLAIMER: Nothing in this article shall be construed as advising anyone to get a divorce or to remarry after divorce. This article was written to the best of my ability based on the Word of God with much thought and prayer, as well as advice from wise and trusted brothers. However, we only know in part, and prophesy in part, so my humble opinions, where stated, could be wrong or incomplete. Therefore, the Holy Scriptures must take precedence over anything I have written, where there appears to be any apparent contradiction.

Attribution notice: Most Scripture quotations taken from the NASB.

Author's note: Samuel and Emmanuel are not personally connected with this site. Please prayerfully consider their testimonies, and use the Testimony Review Process adopted by this blog, as you decide for yourself whether the Lord has spoken to them. For issues and concerns, each person must confirm with the Lord, whether something is valid or not. For more information on our position, please see Disclaimers.

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like Adultery According to Jesus, A Warning for Married Christian Couples, The Forgotten Sin of Worldliness, Ezekiel Moses Testimony of Heaven and Hell, Is Obedience Optional?, Holy Living in a Perverted World, Is Contraception a Sin? -- a Divine Revelation , Avoid Becoming a Corrupted Christian, Sins That Will Keep You From Heaven, Restored Truth, Testing the Spirits of False Prophets, A Warning to the Nay Sayers, The Ways of Life, and the other posts on the home page. You may also access my complete blog directory at "Writing for the Master."

Do You Want to Know Him?
If you want to know Jesus personally, you can. It all begins when you repent and believe in Jesus. Do you know what God's Word, the Bible says?

“Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of God, and saying, ‘The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.’” (Mar 1:14b-15). He preached that we must repent and believe.

Please see my explanation of this in my post called "Do You Want to Know Jesus?"

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Len Lacroix is the founder of Doulos Missions International. He was based in Eastern Europe for four years, making disciples, as well as helping leaders to be more effective at making disciples who multiply, developing leaders who multiply, with the ultimate goal of planting churches that multiply. His ministry is now based in the United States with the same goal of helping fulfill the Great Commission. www.dmiworld.org.

A Warning for Married Christian Couples

Brother Olugbenga Oladejo, Complete in Christ Church

Note: This article addresses issues that may not be appropriate for younger readers. In places, it discusses sexual behavior in plain and frank terms. Please exercise appropriate discretion.

Our Lord Jesus Christ has given a message of warning to a pastor named, Olugbenga Oladejo of Complete In Christ Church in Peterborough, England, which I would like to share with you today. It's important to note that this is a warning for Christian married couples, not for sinners.

I have spoken at length with him and listened to his heart as he shared his testimony of how the Lord saved him in 1990, then brought him back again from backsliding in 2008. He was the pastor of Safeway International Ministries in Edinburgh, Scottland before moving to England in 2013, where he is serving now.  I have also spoken to a church member in Edinburgh, named Christopher O., who still joins brother Oladejo live each week for services via the internet. He spoke very highly of brother Oladejo and described him as someone who is spiritually strong, who is not concerned with gathering large numbers of people to himself, but rather about proclaiming the Truth. Having searched the Scriptures, and done our due diligence to verify his godly character, my wife and I both believe with certainty that this message is from the Lord. 

In March 2014, brother Oladejo was taken to hell and shown a department of hell where demons are torturing the souls of deceased Christians, who defiled their marriage bed.  They are chopping people up like a butcher chops up an animal into little pieces, and then their bodies are reconstituting. They were doing it slowly and painfully to achieve the maximum amount of pain and torment.  The souls are weeping and mourning, while the demons are laughing and taking pleasure in what they are doing to these people.

The Lord told brother Oladejo that His children are confused, so they must be warned about these sins that are taking them to hell, so they will not perish.  He visually showed him these people's sins on the "judgment screen" and audibly warned against married couples masturbating on their beds, looking at pornography, oral sex, trying different styles of sexual intercourse to "spice it up," such as "doggie style" penetration from behind, and various positions, including the wife on top (e.g., so-called "rocking horse," "cowboy," or "cowgirl" positions), and hanging your wife (a type of domination and bondage position, involving tying her down, intended to simulate rape). He said the only position that is holy in God's sight is the face-to-face position with the husband on top.

The Scriptures the Lord gave the pastor were first of all Isaiah 33:14, which says: "The sinners in Zion are terrified; trembling grips the godless: 'Who of us can dwell with the consuming fire? Who of us can dwell with everlasting burning?'” He said that hell is so terrible that once you see it, you will not ask any questions. If they told you to stand up for the rest of your life, you would never want to sit down again, if it meant you would avoid going to that place for eternity.

The second Scripture is Isaiah 24:4-5, which says, "The land suffers for the sins of its people. The earth languishes, the crops wither, the skies refuse their rain. The land is defiled by crime; the people have twisted the laws of God and broken his everlasting commands."  The Lord said there are ordinances in the Scriptures about relations between a husband and a wife, and His children have violated these ordinances.

If you read your Bible properly, as Jesus said through this pastor to do, you will know the truth. You cannot dismiss this by saying that it is not written in the Bible how a man and his wife are to properly have sex. It is the same as smoking cigarettes. The Bible does not say smoking cigarettes is sin, but we know intuitively that it is (also see Alcohol and Cigarettes -- Ten Divine Revelations). If you read the Scriptures the Lord gave this pastor and pray for Light to be shed in your heart, God will show you.  The Holy Spirit will lead you into all truth.

Adam Knew Eve
For one thing, as he taught in both videos, the Scripture says, "Then Adam had sexual intercourse with Eve his wife, and she conceived and gave birth to a son." (Gen 4:1a). It does not say Eve lay with Adam or that Eve had sexual intercourse with Adam, or that Eve knew Adam.  It was Adam who "knew" Eve intimately.

If you doubt whether this can be used to teach us as married couples how to have sexual intercourse, then let me remind you of the passage in Genesis that Jesus used to teach against divorce.  When the Pharisees came and asked Him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason, He asked them what Moses commanded.  They replied that Moses told them to give her a certificate of divorce, and they seemed to view that as God's commandment about marriage and divorce.  However, Jesus corrected them and said,

"Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore god has joined together, let no man separate." (Mat 19:4-6)

Jesus went on to tell them that the reason Moses permitted them to divorce their wives was because their hearts were hardened.  He said, "But from the beginning it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery." (Mat 19:8-9)

So just as Jesus used Genesis 2:22-24 to teach against divorce, He is also using Genesis 4:1 to teach us how to make love to our wives.

The Husband is the Head of the Wife
Secondly, the Word teaches us that the husband is the head of the wife. "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior." (Eph 5:23; cf. 1 Cor 11:3).  He is supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the Church, not lust after her.  He is supposed to take the lead in the relationship, including in the marital bed.  His wife is not supposed to be the aggressor or the one taking the lead.  She is the responder to his love.

The Man is the Image and the Glory of God
Thirdly, in brother Oladejo's video Warning to Married Couples Who Practice Oral Sex, he stated that the Lord told him to say, “Men are my image and men are my glory! Men are the glory of God.  And every time God is looking at you, He wants you to continue to promote more of His glory. If you now change the glory of God into something that is corruptible, into lust, into immorality, the Lord said you will not make it into heaven.”  The Lord said, “If you are doing oral sex, you are not coming to heaven.” And the same goes for other immoral acts you do on your bed.  Do not do these things.  It is evil before the Lord.

The Scriptures the Lord gave him with regard to this were 1 Cor 11:7 and Rom 1:23.

"A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man." (1 Cor 11:7).

Men “exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles.” (Rom 1:23).

Brother Oladejo said the Lord told him he should tell you that if you change the glory of God to look like corruptible man or to look like birds, or four-footed beasts, you are not going to come to heaven. You are changing the glory of God into dogs, goats, cows, animals, and into creeping things. You are committing immorality. It's a great sin. It doesn't matter if you are a pastor, bishop, or archbishop. You are not going to make it. Do not change the glory of God into anything on your matrimonial bed or you are not going to heaven. 

The Missionary Position the Only One Holy
Fourthly, it is well known what the "missionary position" is and why it is called that, for the reason this pastor explained.  Missionaries of old who taught their converts about true holiness would teach them that in the marriage bed, face to face with the husband on top is the only position that God has sanctioned. That is a landmarker or boundary stone that was laid by people before this evil generation was born that you and I who live today are a part of.  That was a boundary stone.  We have moved that stone, so we could try new things to fulfill our lusts.  We need to Ask for the Ancient Paths.

I realize that many will balk at this teaching, saying it is unbiblical.  However, a recent research article on penile fractures published in the medical journal, Advances in Urology,  stated in conclusion: "Our study supports the fact that sexual intercourse with 'woman on top' is the potentially riskiest sexual position related to penile fracture" [1]. 

The study examined the cases of forty-four men who attended three hospitals in the city of Campinas, Brazil for suspected penile fractures. Twenty-eight fractures were sustained during heterosexual intercourse, four during homosexual sex, and six after "penile manipulation." Fourteen were in the "woman on top" position, which was the most common position, eight were using “doggy style” with the woman on all fours, and four in which the cause remained unclear.  Half of the patients reported hearing a "cracking sound" and experiencing pain at the moment of injury. All of these cases were treated on an emergency surgery basis.  Two of them later suffered from erectile dysfunction, following the injury, and one of them was treated by penile prosthesis.

The reason given in the report for the "woman on top" being the most dangerous position was that "...when woman is on top she usually controls the movement with her entire body weight landing on the erect penis, not being able to interrupt it when the penis suffers a wrong way penetration, because the harm is usually minor in woman with no pain but major in the penis." On the other hand, the report stated, "When the man is controlling the movement, he has better chances of stopping the penetration energy in response to the pain related to the penis harm, minimising it."  Therefore, medical science has actually confirmed the wisdom of God's ordinance concerning the missionary position, as well as the risks involved in using other positions and practicing penile manipulation. 

The Marriage Bed Must Be Kept Pure
Fifth, it says in the Bible, "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." (Heb 13:4).

You can defile the marriage bed by acts you commit by yourself, acts you commit with someone other than your spouse, acts you commit using pornography or other property of satan, and acts you commit with your spouse.  The things the Lord has warned us against in this revelation, some of which I mentioned in the opening, are considered acts of immorality in God's sight. 

A Fruit of the Spirit, Not an Act of the Flesh
Sixth, what we do on the marriage bed must not be an act of the flesh to satisfy the desires of the sinful nature, as Paul said in Galatians 5:

"For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another. But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law. Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit." (Gal 5:13-25)

If you are fulfilling the lusts of the flesh, you cannot at the same time be producing the fruit of the Spirit.  The flesh can never produce the fruit of the Spirit and can never please God. On the other hand, the Holy Spirit will never fulfill the desires of the sinful nature.  The flesh and the Spirit are absolutely opposed to one another.  They are mutually exclusive. brother Oladejo says, "The marital bed is for matrimonial love.  If it is not for matrimonial love, then it is sin."

All Things Decently and in Order
Seventh, in the house of God, all things must be done decently and in order. When Michael Shigaba testified of his encounter with Jesus, he stated:

"He [Jesus] said I should open to 1 Corinthians 14:40. It talks about doing things decently and in order. He [Jesus] said, 'Heaven is an orderly place, a decent place. But some people are doing things anyhow in the House of God.' He said, 'In My House.' They are doing things anyhow!"

We as Christians must do all things decently and in order, including what we do in our marriage bed.

The Straight and Narrow Path
Eighth, the way of heaven is straight.  I have learned this from the Word, as well as other divine revelations.  It is literally a straight and narrow path, as the Lord revealed so clearly in Michael Shigaba's Encounter with Jesus.  It is straighter, narrower, and more difficult than most Christians realize.  We must Strive to Enter the Kingdom of God.

As it is written in the book of the words of Isaiah the prophet: “A voice of one calling in the wilderness, ‘Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him. Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain and hill made low. The crooked roads shall become straight, the rough ways smooth.'" (Lk 3:4-5)

"They have left the straight way and wandered off to follow the way of Balaam son of Bezer, who loved the wages of wickedness." (2 Pe 2:15)

"Who have left the straight paths to walk in dark ways," (Prov 2:13)

"I instruct you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths." (Prov 4:11)

"In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." (Prov 3:6)

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." (Mt 7:13-14)

"Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to." (Lk 13:24)

Also see Deu. 32:5; Psa. 18:26; 125:5; Pro. 2:15; 8:8; 17:20; 21:8; 28:6,18; Isa. 59:8; Acts 13:10; Php. 2:15.

The way of heaven is not crooked or deviant.  The road that leads to life is not lustful or perverse.  It is loving and holy.  The problem is that if our hearts are not full of love, then we rely on lust to generate excitement in the marriage bed.  What we (husbands and wives) need is to be cleansed and purged of all lust and be filled with the love of God for one another.  Then we will experience making love the way God intended it to be.

Watch the Videos Yourself
I urge you to watch all three videos yourself and prayerfully consider what the pastor says.  Please don't make any final decision about this matter until you have done so, since I have only summarized him, and it would not be fair to base your decision on only what I have written without hearing him yourself.



Second Warning to Married Couples

Warning to Married Couples Who Practice Oral Sex

Scriptural Basis
The following are a few more Scriptures, in addition to those referenced earlier in this post:

"Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry." (Col 3:5, NIV).

"It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God;" (1 Thes 4:3-5, NIV).

"Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart." (1 Tim 2:22, KJV)

"Let all things be done decently and in order." (1 Co 14:40, KJV).

"For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, and those who are in the flesh cannot please God." (Rom 8:5-8)

"So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh-- for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live." (Rom 8:12-13)

Also see 1 Pe 1:14-16,22; 2:11,16; 3:7; 4:1-5,7-8,17-18.

Clarifications
After watching the videos, I contacted brother Oladejo, and received further clarification from him on some of the things he said in his messages.

Hanging Your Spouse
In the videos, he mentioned "hanging" your spouse during sexual intercourse (see Video 1 at 13:33 - 13:36 and Video 2 at 11:12).  He clarified this for me by stating that he meant couples who engage in extreme sexual positions by using sex equipment to make their wives helpless, such as tying them to a bed, so it looks like the wife is being raped.  He said, "Some Christians do extreme sexual positions seen in the pornography and buy equipment to make them look like their wives are helpless or being hanged [or] raped when they have relationships. Such things are great wickedness before the Lord."

Masturbating
He also clarified that when he warns against masturbation, it is not only something you do to yourself. It includes masturbating one's spouse to arousal or orgasm. This is consistent with the dictionary definition. He stated, "Do not use your hand to stimulate anyone to orgasm. It is masturbation done on you by your partner rather than yourself." He warned, "Manual stimulation is masturbation. It is a sin."

In fact, the word masturbate comes from two root words that mean "hand" and "defile".

"Touching your wife lovingly is not a sin, but it becomes a sin when she feels like you are masturbating her. Our hands are not meant for such an act.  If your wife touches you such that you release without penetration, that is a great sin, so we need to be careful...I want to be very clear that when I refer to ‘touching your wife lovingly,’ it is not masturbating her for arousal. I do not say a man should do that.  The Lord told me He detests all forms of masturbation."

A Message from the Lord, Not Man
He also clarified for me that he did not come up with this list of sins himself.  He stated, "I did not know that these things were sins myself until the night I saw this revelation. There was one thing that shocked me when I was standing in front of the judgment screen, the sin of masturbation, which is basically using your hand to bring your spouse to orgasm, appeared on the screen...I was told that God disapproves masturbation, even if it is done on you by your partner."

"I did not come up with a list of sins, but what I was told and shown on the screen. You see the voice of the Lord is audible once you cross to the other side. When he speaks, no one will tell you before you know that Jesus is speaking. So the Lord spoke to me in my mind, and I did not even need to ask, because I know it was the Lord."

He added, "I have waited six months to share this revelation. First, I gain nothing by sharing it. It is the hardest part of God's work that He gave me to do. I have struggled with the Lord asking Him to even allow me just to teach this from the Scriptures instead of sharing the revelation, but He told me He would ask the blood from me (of those who go to hell because I did not share the revelation). What He told me is to warn people, and when I obeyed I felt His peace and presence. So, this is not an amazing dream but a divine revelation. I heard heavenly hymns and songs the day I shared this revelation."

Medical and Physical Health Limitations
There are certain, specific cases in which it is impossible to have sexual intercourse with the man on top. After reading this article, one brother submitted a question about that very issue asking, "What if because of medical or physical restrictions, the only way a couple could have sex is if the man was on the bottom?"

When we initially posted this article and began to receive such questions about medical/physical limitations, my wife and I prayed and asked the Lord how to answer them.  We also contacted brother Oladejo to see if the Lord spoke to him about that. While we were waiting for a response from him, my wife was given Numbers 9:6-13.  In the context, the Lord had told the Israelites to celebrate the Passover on the fourteenth day of the first month.  Then it says:

But there were some men who were unclean because of the dead person, so that they could not observe Passover on that day; so they came before Moses and Aaron on that day. Those men said to him, "Though we are unclean because of the dead person, why are we restrained from presenting the offering of the LORD at its appointed time among the sons of Israel?" Moses therefore said to them, "Wait, and I will listen to what the LORD will command concerning you." Then the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, "Speak to the sons of Israel, saying, 'If any one of you or of your generations becomes unclean because of a dead person, or is on a distant journey, he may, however, observe the Passover to the LORD. 'In the second month on the fourteenth day at twilight, they shall observe it; they shall eat it with unleavened bread and bitter herbs. 'They shall leave none of it until morning, nor break a bone of it; according to all the statute of the Passover they shall observe it. 'But the man who is clean and is not on a journey, and yet neglects to observe the Passover, that person shall then be cut off from his people, for he did not present the offering of the LORD at its appointed time. That man will bear his sin. (Num 9:6-13)

If you are thinking about taking an exception, you ought to read that passage. The Lord commanded Moses how and when to celebrate the Passover Feast.  However, some people came to Moses and said they were unclean because they had touched a dead person, yet they wanted to celebrate the feast at its appointed time with everyone else. When Moses prayed about it, the Lord made an exception for them and those who were on a journey at the time of Passover, allowing them to celebrate the feast exactly thirty days later. But the Lord warned that they must observe it according to the statute and not change anything else.  He strictly warned that if anyone who is clean or not on a journey neglects to observe the Passover at the appointed time as the Lord commanded -- in other words, if they take the exception when they are not qualified for it, that person shall be cut off from his people and bear his sin. The same thing applies to anyone who changes the ordinance of God on their marriage bed, who is not truly qualified for an exception.

"Every man's way is right in his own eyes, But the LORD weighs the hearts." (Pro 21:2)

After we received from the Lord that passage in Numbers, we also received a response by email from brother Oladejo, who replied: "Concerning the questions about people with medical/physical needs, such as stroke patients, I have asked the Lord after my encounter, and received an answer. If it is physically impossible to have sex normally, and therefore, you change the ordinance of God, the Lord told me He would judge you righteously.”

"However, the Lord told me that He knows men that they will say they have one need or the other that made this impossible for them to obey. He told me then that such claims must be true and honest. If you are unable to have sex normally because of medical/physical needs then you have not sinned. But He said that men would hide under this disguise in order to disobey His law. The Lord told me He knows the heart of men."

"The Lord told me he does not like abstinence from sex. Please tell those abstaining they should come together for sex as regularly as they want with each other. God designed sex for us to enjoy and not to abstain.  It is the will of God to have regular sex with your partner. The Lord wants us to take lust and masturbation out of our marital bed."

"At no time did the Lord say He would make exceptions for strange sex like oral sex, masturbation, or vibrators, etc."

To further emphasize the key points of what brother Oladejo has stated, the Lord showed him that; a) He does grant exceptions for married couples with medical/physical limitations. He will judge righteously; b) He does not want any married couple to abstain from sex, but wants them to come together and enjoy each other.  c) However, man must not dishonestly claim to be qualified for the exceptions given by God to those with medical/physical limitations. If he claims this exception when it is not really true, and changes the ordinance of God to fulfill his lusts, the Lord knows the man's heart and will hold him accountable for that sin of disobedience.  He will judge righteously. d) He will not grant exceptions for strange sex.

Lusting After Your Spouse
With regard to lustful feelings of excitement toward one's spouse, brother Oladejo clarified, "Lust is a demon and should not be found on the marital bed. God expects us to have sex in love and not lust. We can have sex out of love, so why would we want sex out of lust as a Christian?" For more on this, please see Lusting After Your Spouse.

Personal Lubricant and Condoms
Lastly, in response to my inquiry, he said, “[Personal] lubricant and condoms were never shown to me as sin at all.”  However, the Lord also did not say to brother Olugbenga that using personal lubricant or condoms is not a sin.  If you have questions, you should seek the face of the Lord Jesus Christ on that (please see Is Contraception a Sin?)

I hope these clarifications help remove any questions you may have about what he meant.

Pleasure in Marriage

I want to be very clear that I am not saying that pleasure in the marriage bed is sin. The Lord wants husbands and wives to love each other and enjoy pure, pleasurable sexual intimacy with one another (1 Cor 7:2-5; Heb 13:4). After all, it was God who created sex in the first place. But it is specifically the ungodly, sinful acts that have been condemned in this article that the Lord hates. These have no place in the marriage bed of a Christian couple.  

Confirmations
On December 19, nearly three weeks after posting this article, I had been working with brother Oladejo on the clarifications, which we had added to the original article, and he made this statement in an email:

"I have read the article again and have been praying to the Lord. Two nights ago I saw an angel of the Lord in my room telling me to continue with this work. The Lord seriously warned that those who are thinking of breaking His ordinances because of medical/physical reasons should be warned that he will judge them righteously." [Editor's note: This confirmed what the Lord had previously told brother Oladejo, and which we had already added to this article about exceptions and the Lord judging righteously. However, since this angelic visitation, I have now added the Lord's serious warning to the end of that section about exceptions, and I have added the passage from Numbers, which I originally omitted for the sake of space.]

He continued, "Also concerning manual stimulation to reach organism, beloved brother, the Lord has confirmed it to me again that it is a sin. It is masturbation performed on a woman by her husband. We have gone far in lust on our marital bed but the Lord wants us to come back to love."

On December 24, 2014, I received the following email from brother Oladejo:

"Beloved Brother Len, Jesus Christ is being glorified and will be glorified again and again. All glory to His holy name. I am sorry I could not speak to you last night. I felt a heavy sleep and I struggled even to finish my night prayers and I slept off.

"In my sleep I heard a voice of an angel telling me I have messages from the Lord. The message was delivered and it was a voice speaking to me:

'I am pleased with the article written in the blog and I am pleased about the warning that was re-echoed to mankind about taking exceptions.'

"Then I noticed that two other messages were opened, and they were both voices speaking to me, and when I heard them they were two Bible passages: Jude 3 and 1 Thessalonians 4:7.

"Then I heard the voice saying: 'Earnestly contend for the faith which was once delivered unto the saints for God has not called us unto uncleanness but unto holiness.'  These words were continuously read in my ears for a long time as I lost count of how many times it was said.

"After that I heard the voice saying: 'Many of my servants have ignored my warnings to keep holiness on their matrimonial bed, because they enjoy their sins and are afraid to lose membership of their church, so they compromised. Tell them to repent. I am interested in holiness both in the open and in your secrets places.'

"After this the message started again: 'Earnestly contend for the faith which was once delivered unto the saints for God has not called us unto uncleanness but unto holiness.' This was continued until I woke up.

"Beloved brother Len, the Lord is happy. All glory to His holy name.
God bless you.
Pastor Oladejo"

If you need further confirmation about these things, then check out Robert Brownell's Little Lessons on his Divine Revelations website. He stated in lesson number forty, "Keep oral and anal sex out of a marriage. These defile you.  In a dream, I was shown an oral sex demon, it was absolutely disgusting, believe me you don't want anything to do with its sin. The desire for oral sex is usually the desire for someone to physically worship you. Stay away from it.  Keep the spirits of domination and bondage out of a marriage bed also. Also, when a person masturbates, they are having sex with a demon and don't know it."  That is not a recent comment of his, but has been posted for quite some time. After I shared this present article with him about the Warning for Christian Married Couples given to brother Oladejo, he replied, "I've concluded the same things that he talks about, in my fifteen years of marriage"

Another confirmation is from a brother named Mario Martinez, who received a revelation of hell in 1994. In Mario's video testimony of hell, he states beginning at 24:16 that he saw, "Even men and women in there, because of their marriage -- the lusting, the fornication, the adultery, the pornography, the sexual desires that they had, which is vanity, it's bondage with the enemy. God created our marriage to be clean and pure for Him. [There were] a lot of Christians there that were getting couples involved in their marriage, and then repent. A lot of people in there that were screaming and shouting -- they had it worse. I mean they were really being tortured in a lot of ways, because of the disgusting things they were doing in their bedroom sexually with animals and what not."

Another confirmation is from a Hungarian sister in Christ, who received a divine revelation of heaven and hell. As I wrote in my article, Eudoxia Varga Testimony of Heaven and Hell, she was shown a demon in hell, who is deceiving people who are alive on earth, so that they will commit that sin of masturbation and go to that unimaginably terrible place of eternal torment. Eudoxia stated, "There was another room. We went on. And there was a very big bed in it. And I found it strange, because there was a very beautiful woman lying on that bed. And I was even looking at her that, 'Oh, how beautiful she is!' But it really, it wasn’t normal what she looked like, how beautiful she was. Then I saw that she started to do things with herself. Well, I don’t want to use that word. And, she did it—that sin. You understand it. Then she woke up and went to the [devil's] council chamber and started to say whom she deceived. And that was horrible, that even children were in it. And she said, 'And even Christians.' And she started to laugh with an evil laugh. And she praised and kissed the lips of satan. And as she was laughing, there came snakes from her mouth. And as she was laughing, the lust and dirt just came out of her mouth. Literally, the lust and dirt just flowed out of her mouth. And she immediately went to report to satan...And as this woman was pleasing herself in the bed, she was casting spells as she did it. 'There are people,' the Lord said, 'who don’t want to do it, but they do it because they’re in bondage.' This is when she’s casting spells upon them. And if he doesn’t want to do it, he still does it, because he’s in bondage. This is horrible."

In August of 2024, I wrote an article about a revelation a woman had of hell, in which the Lord showed her similar things and more. Her name is Sue Mark Jones, and she saw a section of hell where there were Christians who had indulged in these sexual sins. The Lord told her to warn His people about these things, because they are going to hell for doing them. These include ungodly sexual positions, seductive lingerie, masturbation, thinking about another lover while having sex with your spouse, spouse swapping, sex novels, sex toys, and much more.

These are but a few examples I can cite for you, aside from the many Scriptures calling for sexual purity, some of which I have already mentioned.

A Word to the Skeptic
I would like to just briefly address the skeptic who may be reading this.  I cannot possibly address all possible doubts any skeptic may have, but let me respond to two possible questions:

1. Where in God's word does it explain how to properly have marital sex?

There are many Scriptures that apply to this, including those that directly speak of intercourse (eg., Gen 4:1a; Lev 15:33; 18:19; 20:18), as well as many more that speak indirectly, such as all the ones I mentioned in this article.

In other words, if the Bible tells me that I must love my neighbor, I can assume that this command applies in all situations at all times, including on the marriage bed.  Or I can try to justify myself and ask, "Who is my neighbor?" (Lk 10:29).  So Scriptures that admonish us to do all things in decency and order, flee youthful lusts, to pursue holiness, to flee from immorality, to love our wives as Christ loved the Church (Eph 5:25) are all applicable in every aspect of life, not just the ones that don't have to do with sex.  And by the way, speaking of the way Christ loved the Church, He never lusts after His Church.  He loves her in such a way as to give Himself up for her, making her holy, and cleansing her (Eph 5:26). May the Lord help us be like Him in this world.

2. This revelation implies that even though we do not know or understand that something is sinful, we will still end up in hell despite having faith in Christ to save us.  How can that be so?

This is basic Truth as recorded in Scripture.

In Leviticus 5:15-18, it speaks about unintentional sins.  But look especially at verse 17, which says, "If anyone sins and does what is forbidden in any of the Lord’s commands, even though they do not know it, they are guilty and will be held responsible."  Our civil laws in society are the same; ignorance of the law is no excuse for violating it, and they will still punish you anyway.

In Romans 2, Paul addresses this.  Especially look at verses 12-16.  In verse 12, he says, "All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law."  So if you haven't heard that something is against God's law, because you don't have the law, you will still perish if you don't repent and ask forgiveness.

It's called ignorance.  "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge." (Hos 4:6).  Jesus said, the servant who did not know his Master's will, and committed deeds worthy of a flogging, will receive but few; however, he will not go unpunished (Luk 12:47-48a). When it comes to sin, Ignorance is Not Bliss.

Most people who are living in sin, whether they call themselves a Christian or not, they often do not know that they are living in sin.  I mean, in their hearts when they first began doing it, they knew it was wrong.  But they rejected the truth and bought a lie, so God gave them over to unclean spirits (Rom 1:24-25; Prov 1:20-33).  This is called deception.  The devil is a master of deception, so he deceives humanity into thinking that what they are doing is not sin (Gen 3:1-7; Jn 8:44).  The nature of deception is that if you knew you were deceived, you would no longer be deceived. If people realized that what they were doing was sin, and that it would take them to hell, many would repent.  Others still would not, because their hearts are already so hardened that they can no longer repent.  That's why it is so important not to harden your heart if you hear His voice today (Heb 3:8,15; 4:7).

When you speak to non-believers about Christ, you find that they are ignorant of the fact that they are living in sin and going to hell.  But that doesn't change the fact that they are living in sin and going to hell.  Just because someone doesn't know or believe something does not alter the truth of the matter.  That's why it is important to read the Bible, which exposes the Sins That Will Keep You From Heaven.

And lastly, God will not repent or confess your sin for you.  This is something you must do yourself.  It is a condition for forgiveness (see 1 Jn 1:9; Mk 1:15; Ac 2:38; 2 Tim 2:19).  You cannot be forgiven if you do not repent.  This is why repentance is an essential part of salvation initially, and on an ongoing basis.  A daily life of repentance is the shortest path to God's mercy.  Therefore, if you are still struggling with this message, I recommend reading A Warning to the Nay Sayers, Testing the Spirits of False Prophets, and Restored Truth.

 
Putting it All Together
The Lord began speaking to me two years ago about the need for purity and holiness in the marriage bed. This message provided a confirmation that I have indeed heard from God, and also gave me further warnings that I needed to hear at this time.  I do not question this revelation for a moment.  I am positively sure the devil did not give this pastor this revelation.  The devil is the inventor of these evil things, so why would he want to warn us not to do them.

For those who say this is legalism, I will respond to you as the late brother Leonard Ravenhill once said, “When there's something in the Bible that churches don't like, they call it legalism.” And I will add that "legalistic" is often defined as "anyone who follows the commandments closer than I do."

I have done my part in warning you.  As the pastor said, I have cleared myself by warning you, regardless of what you decide to do with it.  I counsel you that we have been led astray by those who have told us that whatever a married couple does together that they both enjoy is fine with God.  That is not true.  It is the devil's deception.

During our engagement period, eighteen years ago, my wife and I read a very popular book by Dr. Ed and Gaye Wheat, called Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage; and we now see that much of what he taught was not from God. God is holy and all His ways are holy.  He does not approve of immoral practices, evil acts, lust, or worldliness in the marriage bed of His children.  Anyone performing masturbation and oral sex will not see God, as this is a serious sin before the Lord.  The Lord will will judge all men righteously. Therefore, if you care about your own soul and the soul of your spouse, I urge you to repent and cry out to God for mercy. Any changes you make should be out of total love for Jesus and surrender to Him, understanding Who He is and who you are in Him. Your attitude should be that because you love Him with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, you will do whatever pleases Him by the power of the Holy Spirit. Any changes you make in your life as a result of reading this article should be out of a willing heart to please the Father.

If you are a minister who has ignored the Lord's warnings to keep holiness on your matrimonial bed, because you enjoy your sins and are afraid to lose members from your church or supporters from your ministry, and you have compromised, then repent. The Lord is interested in holiness both in the open and in your secrets places. Therefore, prepare to meet your God.

Epilogue

It is now 2025, eleven years since wrote this article. You would think that most Christians would have agreed wholeheartedly with it, since it promotes godly love and purity in marriage, while condemning certain things like sadism and masochism that are widely considered even by secular society to be perversions. But instead, many fellow believers, including dear friends of mine, rejected this article completely and rejected me for being the messenger. But what does it matter? The Lord knows my heart that I was just trying to do the right thing in His sight to help my fellow believers to make it to heaven at last and avoid hell. My motives were pure and with the best intentions. Since I tried to warn them in love, their blood will be on their own heads. As for me, though flawed and imperfect, I have enjoyed the Lord's favor and His presence in my life since then, and I believe He is pleased. That's what matters most to me is pleasing the Father.

[1] Advances in Urology, Volume 2014 (2014), Article ID 768158, 4 pages. Research Article: Mechanisms Predisposing Penile Fracture and Long-Term Outcomes on Erectile and Voiding Functions. Leonardo O. Reis, Marcelo Cartapatti, Rafael Marmiroli, Eduardo Jeronimo de Oliveira Júnior, Ricardo Destro Saade, and Adriano Fregonesi.

Attribution notice: Scripture quotations taken from the NASB, unless otherwise noted. Most other Scriptures taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV®, unless otherwise noted.

Author's note: This is not to be taken as condemnation of anyone. Please prayerfully listen to this testimony, and use the Testimony Review Process adopted by this blog, as you decide for yourself whether the Lord has spoken to this pastor.  For issues and concerns, each person must confirm with the Lord, whether something is valid or not.  

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like Woman Saw the Demon of Cupid Leading Christians to Hell, Lusting After Your Spouse, The Forgotten Sin of Worldliness, Ezekiel Moses Testimony of Heaven and Hell, Is Obedience Optional?, Holy Living in a Perverted World, Avoid Becoming a Corrupted Christian, An Open Mind that Loves the Truth, Sins That Will Keep You From Heaven, Restored Truth, Pleasing the Lord, Ignorance is Not Bliss, Testing the Spirits of False Prophets, A Warning to the Nay Sayers, The Ways of Life, Eudoxia Varga Testimony of Heaven and Hell, and the other posts on the home page. You may also access my complete blog directory at "Writing for the Master."

Do You Want to Know Him?
If you want to know Jesus personally, you can. It all begins when you repent and believe in Jesus.  Do you know what God's Word, the Bible says?

“Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of God, and saying, ‘The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.’” (Mar 1:14b-15).  He preached that we must repent and believe.

Please see my explanation of this in my post called "Do You Want to Know Jesus?"

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Len Lacroix is the founder of Doulos Missions International.  He was based in Eastern Europe for four years, making disciples, as well as helping leaders to be more effective at making disciples who multiply, developing leaders who multiply, with the ultimate goal of planting churches that multiply. His ministry is now based in the United States with the same goal of helping fulfill the Great Commission. www.dmiworld.org.