I recently watched Laurie Ditto share her testimony about her Vision of Hell on the Kingdom Awakening Podcast. Here is the transcript of the podcast with key section headers. If you want to skip to the end, I have provided a summary of the five key reasons why she was in hell and seven lessons she learned from that experience.
You may watch it on Youtube at this link.
Podcast Introduction and Background
Welcome to the Kingdom Awakening Podcast. I'm your host, Jeff Simons, and I have with me Laurie Ditto, the director of My Father's Reputation. Laurie, welcome.
Hi, Jeff. Thanks for having me.
Well, thank you for joining us. One of the conversations that has come up quite a few times is that there's some strange theology going around about heaven and hell in the charismatic movements. Some believe either that there is no hell or that hell is just a place where God's love purifies people before they eventually make it to heaven. It’s essentially rebranded universalism. I’ve heard your story, so for those that haven't heard it, can you share a little bit of your background and experience with hell?
Laurie’s Spiritual Journey
Sure. I grew up Catholic, believing in Jesus, the Father, and the Holy Spirit. I understood repentance. I always wanted to serve God, and growing up, the only way for girls was to become a nun — so I thought I would. But then I met my husband, we got married and had children, never realizing that I wasn’t saved. A lot of people go to church and don’t realize they’re not saved.
You’re not saved until Jesus Christ is the Lord of your life — not Mary, not yourself. Jesus is the Son of God, and Christianity’s limits are that if Jesus is not God, you’re outside Christianity. I got saved in a vision. I was looking for God and went to an event where the Lord took me to heaven. I think I was so hard that only that could save me — to show me He was real. It transformed me completely. I was smoking three and a half packs a day, fighting depression, on lots of medication — and God saved me. Hallelujah.
I know that sounds strange, but when people talk about a born-again experience, I thought everyone went to heaven. That's why people could say they knew Jesus, because they had literally seen Him. I had seen Him. Once you’re saved, you don’t care that it sounds strange.
Experience of Seeing Heaven and then Hell
I got saved in 2000. In 2008, in a vision, Jesus took me to hell. I had been to heaven many times and understood a lot about it. Angels see the face of God all the time and know Him fully. They’re amazed that we choose God without the same information they have — they’re in awe of our faith and obedience.
God had been after me since He saved me to forgive others. I did not forgive anybody because I thought forgiveness meant that what they did was okay, or that they had to say sorry first. I wasn’t interested in forgiveness. But the Bible says you must forgive or you won’t be forgiven. I had been to heaven but refused to obey this simplest step: forgiveness.
On August 28, 2008, I was in worship, feeling lots of angels had come, thinking something remarkable would happen, maybe everyone would be taken to heaven in vision. Instead, the front of the room opened and I felt heat. That caused me to open my eyes to see huge gates — the gates of hell. The supernatural and natural merged, and I was forced to see the reality of hell’s gates.
A hand grabbed me and dragged me through the gates as they slammed shut. I was quickly taken to my cell — a teardrop-shaped cell — and placed horizontally inside. I looked up and saw Father God, who said, "You are in hell eternally for unforgiveness." Then He tore His robe diagonally across His heart, an expression of being finished with me. I felt overwhelming regret — I knew I had not obeyed Christ, and my time had run out.
The Torment in Hell
It was unbearably hot; my skin was melting like wax. I tried to place it back but it hurt. The heat and flames were all-consuming. I could see other cells with one person each, hanging suspended. I realized these people were there for various sins — sexual sins, cheating, homosexuality, bestiality — any sin refused to be obeyed by God.
My eyes broke apart, looking different directions causing trauma, and when I tried to breathe, I inhaled living fire that burned me inside and out. I screamed until the pain was overwhelming. I saw my own screams — my voice was the one driving me mad.
Inside my bones, yellow marrow turned black, indicating the death of ability to produce life. The water in my body disappeared, causing shriveling and a demonic shape, no longer reflecting the image of God.
I could see others, all terrifying and deformed. There was no comfort in proximity, cells isolated and unreachable. The bubbling pit I was suspended over stretched as far as I could see — it was terrifying. People closer to the bubble sinned graver sins.
The Root of the Pain: Bitterness and Hate
My good thoughts left; only bitterness, unforgiveness, vengeance, and hatred remained. The hate was always inside me, magnified in hell. The Bible says to hate what God hates — sin — but here, the hate was overwhelming and destructive.
Encounters with Demons and Physical Punishment
A demon with a hot rod hit the bottom of my feet, breaking the arches — symbolizing that the shoes of the gospel of peace could never fit me again. Flames burned me as I twisted and turned, breaking every bone of my body in excruciating pain that lasted a very long time.
Confrontation with Sins of Unkindness, Lack of Gentleness, and Impatience
First, sins of unkindness appeared — those done to me and that I had done. I realized these could be counted. Forgiveness of these would have kept me from this torment.
Then, uncountable times of being ungentle revealed themselves — equally painful.
Finally, impatience was the hardest to bear, especially given Jesus’ patience and longsuffering toward me. Yet my excuse was stubborn refusal to forgive, acting as judge.
Examples of Specific Sins
- When giving baths to my girls, I slapped their arms or legs to gain control despite their screams, ignoring their pain, which God counted highly due to authority given to me.
- Forcing my oldest daughter into a car seat despite her crying, spanking her repeatedly and not hearing her tears, a sin counted thrice.
Judgment by the Fruits of the Spirit
These sins conflicted with the fruits of the Spirit — kindness, gentleness, patience, etc. Failure to live by these results in judgment.
My imprisoned body resembled my earthly body at first, but as sins came in, I became deformed by them. God’s holiness is much higher than often understood, including sins we are unaware of (sins of omission).
Eternal Consequence and Shared Sin
I heard God say I was condemned eternally. In hell, you bear 100% of your sin and 100% of the sins of others in that place.
This shared burden enhances the torment, and is why no one wants even one more person to join.
Reflection on Scripture and Warning
I was shown how serious our choices on earth truly are.
Key Reasons Laurie Was in Hell
1. Unforgiveness
·
Central cause of Laurie's condemnation was unforgiveness.
·
Despite knowing she needed to forgive, she
refused to do so because she equated forgiveness with condoning the actions of
others or feeling that the offenders deserved to apologize first.
·
God explicitly told her, “You are in hell
eternally for unforgiveness,” confirming its eternal consequence.
2. Refusal to Obey God’s Command to
Forgive
·
Although a “favorite visitor of heaven,” she
disobeyed the simplest command of faith: forgiveness.
·
Forgiveness was not merely about freeing others
but also a condition to be forgiven by God, as explained by biblical principles
(Matthew 18).
3. Personal Sins Manifested in Hell
·
Her own sins—unkindness, lack of gentleness,
impatience—became evident in hell as painful realities.
·
Sins were measured and returned to her:
·
Times when others were unkind vs. times she was
unkind to others.
·
Times others were ungentle vs. times she was
ungentle.
·
Times others were impatient vs. her own impatience.
·
Example sins included harshness towards her
children (slapping during baths, ignoring their cries in the car seat), which
counted multiple times against her.
4. Spiritual Deformation and Isolation
·
Laurie’s physical form was altered into a demonic,
deformed shape due to sin.
·
Hell was described as a place of extreme heat,
isolation (cells shaped like teardrops where one could not reach another),
constant pain, and eternal punishment.
·
This mirrored the internal state caused by
unresolved sin and unforgiveness.
5. Rejection of Becoming Like Christ
After Forgiveness
·
Through the parable of the unforgiving servant
(Matthew 18), she understood she had accepted forgiveness for herself but would
not forgive others, thus refusing to "become like the benevolent king"
(Christ).
·
This refusal kept her separated from God and
trapped in judgment.
Lessons Learned from the Hell
Experience
1. Forgiving Others is Essential
·
Forgiveness is not optional but a command
necessary for salvation and freedom from divine judgment.
·
Forgiveness means releasing bitterness and
hatred, not approving sin—this was a key misunderstanding Laurie had to overcome.
2. God’s Holiness and Judgment are
Absolute
·
God’s standard of holiness includes sins of
omission and commission, many of which Laurie had unknowingly ignored.
·
Living with unforgiveness and disobedience, even
as a Christian, leads to serious consequences.
3. Hell is a Real, Eternal Place of
Torture
·
The vision revealed hell as a literal place with
continuous, living fire causing immense physical and emotional pain.
·
There is no relief, no escape, and no
companionship—only isolation and torment.
·
The knowledge of sins and their consequences is
fully clear, intensifying the suffering.
4. Sin Multiplies in Hell
·
In hell, one bears not only personal sin but
also the collective sin of others there, increasing the punishment.
·
This exemplifies why no one wants "one more
person" in hell due to shared consequences.
5. Experiencing Hell Motivated Laurie to
Forgive and Repent
·
After returning, Laurie dedicated 30 months to
systematically forgiving those who wronged her and seeking forgiveness for her
own sins.
·
She created a process involving careful
reflection, repentance, and restoration to rid herself of the sin’s power.
6. God's Love Includes Discipline
·
Laurie understood that her being sent to hell was
an act of divine love meant to awaken her to the gravity of sin and the
necessity of obedience.
·
“To whom much is given, much is required.” Her
previous experiences of heaven and spiritual favor did not exempt her from
judgment.
7. Necessity of Faith and Obedience to
Christ
·
Laurie emphasized that believing Jesus is God’s
Son and obeying His commands is the only pathway to heaven.
·
Obedience includes active forgiveness, living by
the fruit of the Spirit (kindness, gentleness, patience, etc.), and heartfelt
obedience beyond mere belief.
Summary
·
Why Laurie Was in Hell: Primarily because of unforgiveness,
compounded by refusal to obey God’s command to forgive, personal sins, and
rejection of spiritual transformation into Christlikeness after receiving
forgiveness.
·
Lessons
Learned: Forgiveness is indispensable, sin’s cost is eternal and painful,
hell is a literal and horrific place, and God’s love may include severe
discipline to redirect us toward obedience and salvation. Obedience and faith
in Jesus are essential for avoiding such judgment.
This testimony underscores the importance of genuine
forgiveness and spiritual obedience as foundational to Christian faith and
salvation.
Do You Want to Know Him?If you want to know Jesus personally, you can. It all begins when you repent and believe in Jesus. Do you know what God's Word, the Bible says?
“Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of God, and saying, ‘The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.’” (Mar 1:14b-15). He preached that we must repent and believe.
Please see my explanation of this in my post called "
Do You Want to Know Jesus?"
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Len Lacroix is the founder of
Doulos Missions International. He was based in Eastern Europe for four years, making disciples, as well as helping leaders to be more effective at making disciples who multiply, developing leaders who multiply, with the ultimate goal of planting churches that multiply. His ministry is now based in the United States with the same goal of helping fulfill the Great Commission.
www.dmiworld.org.
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